after several years of praying that one day, I would run into my ex… the one that I kicked to the curb and it was the biggest mistake of my life, but I knew he had gotten married, and I hated that I made that mistake. I have this fear more coz its me who always can’t resist his love i feel. I want to be loved. I use to resent my mommy because she always put that man first but in the end i felt nothing but love towards her. Our views on life are so different, and he likes to argue about everything any chance he gets, while I hate confrontation and would rather just have a civil conversation. Your relationship doesn’t stand a chance if it happens the way you’re hoping right now. And know your not alone! From needs to wants to gifts. Regardless of what we tell ourselves, some relationships are just irreparable. It may look like he loves you a lot to be so protective and to crave your time so intensely, but men who limit their partner’s ability to worship, socialize with friends, and their comings and goings are isolating their partner. He goes on to talk about her with another man and he hopes he is good to her and makes her happy and begging her to come back to him that he loves her and she is the only one he wants to be with. I see myself growing old with him some days and truly being happy. This could work in my favor, right? I have severe c.o.p.d , sever p.a.d. I don’t know what to do . He says he loves me more than anything, always denies the cheating, except the one incident I caught him in. But month later decided I just couldnt give in no more. All of the kids are fighting all the time cause thats what they see, and I just don’t know how to leve!!?? My situation isn’t right and I left him about 2 years ago (at that time we’d been dating/living together, etc. That shoots up a red flag for me! Also, I recently learned that women respond to love in different ways than men, which makes it even more difficult to find the strength to leave a man you’ve loved forever. How To Get Rid Of Your Husband's Mistress. He says there might be changes. I love him but I think I deserve better and would like to leave him for good, I live with my partner we have a child we fight often he get agressive sometimes he even hit me without even knowing , then he always say he is sorry but he do thesame damn thing over and over again. Just get out. I’ve been stuck in bad relationships because I was scared nobody else would love me. Years of picking up after him figuratively and literally. I was compelled to answer you. It’s probably one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever make, especially if you have children. I will keep you in my prayers. I don’t want to hurt him more…plus I do care about him still… He says I can go home as much as possible. Weird, almost like a jealous girlfriend would be. Now I realise that I was taken for granted all these years. Wendy, I couldn’t have said anything more spot on than Shun did. I read your article, but find that it is rather general in it’s language. He likes being alone. Its been almost 2 years now… Was a huge mistake i made… He spends his money drinking, when we argue, he treats me like garbage, breaks things at home and ends up hitting me. She’s with a man right now and you’re not being a true friend by pulling her away from the man she is with. So does he! I have previously seperated due to dv but gave him another chance. My prayer is that you find peace, love, strength, and courage. Night after sleepless night, you lie awake replaying the fights in your head. I’m bored of same ol’ same ol’. You’re not alone. And my you move forward with whatever you decide to do with a sense of confidence and purpose. May you take time to connect with God, solidify your faith, and follow your heart and soul. You might try telling yourself you don’t WANT to go over to his place just to end up miserable on Monday (not “I shouldn’t,” but, “Ugh, I don’t want to feel miserable later,”), and plan an enjoyable, fun weekend–and don’t tell him where you are, either. Since then (it’s been almost 4 years) my husband and I have been moving around the country from place to place, either living with complete strangers who take us in or in our van. I am a bisexual female. It’s time to take control of your life to live for you. You may not know who they are, or when they will come, but they are waiting on you to let go so that they can come into your life. Thank you for sharing – it sounds like you’ve been thinking about your marriage – and the possibilities of leaving a man you’ve loved for years – for a long time. We loved each other and every other person knows about us. His family they are all disrespectful to me and he never says anything to them. May you seek the wise counsel of others, and strive to make the decision that isn’t the easiest one….but is the best one for you and your family. You would be a temporary rebound, and as someone mentioned – this man will always be in her life and very involved. I am having issues with my boyfriend having my back when it comes to his sister…. In the beginning I played games like having friends flirt with him to see what he would do and once we had this huge fight cause he fell for it and then I did it to him all the time so right there off the bat I was scared to trust him. Ever since I’ve tried going to church he has kicked off and made things very diffocult for me, his reasoning is apparently he does t know the ppl at church and single Christian men might speak to me whih is why I can’t go, or if I do go I have to come back straight away and can’t stay to talk to others after the service.. I’m very confused, scared and frightened about telling him I don’t want to move with him!! If you do want freedom from him, delete him from your social media and phone, email, etc., change your number, and/or block his if he keeps calling. I have tried to get him to move out and on, but he won’t because he has burned all bridges with family etc. So we moved to his home town again…. Of course before thinking to save up and get a place / get my parent’s support to start renting while in college, I fell in love. Give your time, energy, and talents. We don’t agree on anything–NOTHING! You’re worried about missing the feeling of being desired and wanted, the intimate and close moments you shared. A distance relationship but he spares time speaking with me after his 12 hours of work. I have been married 25 years. When i read about yr life I wonder if you noticed after all the yrs you have been threw. I have never read anything like this before. I hope that you feel better since you wrote this. Any help or advice? If you haven’t made friends you can talk to, I encourage you to join a support group for new moms or even a book club — anything that connects you with women who are strong, supportive, and encouraging. Lesson learned I spend 23 years with greedy, selfish man who would do anything to keep his money. He asks me and encourages me in spending on my own self saving and to think about myself a little. When you pray about whether or not you should leave this man that you’ve loved for years, what does God say? I had a brief affair which ended and was terribly hard to untangle from. It might help to write how you feel about leaving your marriage, though, and perhaps get feedback from others. Facing our problems is very difficult, and love is not the answer. Me to lady’s…I’ve been cheated on.lied to,robed,he abused me in every way hecould . Now I feel guilty for what I did and feel responsible for my I revisited a prior realtionship that I was once engaged to this man and we both went our seperate ways. I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years, we are not married, but do live together. If chose to leave him im sure he’ll be ok. it also give him something to think about make him realize what he will be missing if you leave. He ended up hating it along with my family. I feel stuck and embarrassed to tell my mother. Abuse is Abuse though!!! It sounds like you already know what’s best for your daughter. If you love a man but have to leave him, do it with forgiveness and compassion. He ridicules my religion. but what i did that time is, i try giving motivational advice to her and pretend that i was strong but actually im not. He loves me a lot and sees my future. This is a very insightful and heart touching article. Thank you for being here, and sharing your struggles with your marriage and in-laws. He should treat you as an equal, not someone to control and dominate with fear. Don’t let fear of the unknown get in your way. Every time i try and make a move to leav i get scared to leav him because he always has something todo or say. . I thought I didn’t’;t have anyone left by my side but you’ll be surprised at who come out the woodworks when you make the decision to leave a bad situation. He’s said he’ll work on us a hundred times but nothing changes. I was touched by reading the article but what really caught my eye and made my heart skipped a beat. But i really do feel tide down.. Here I am and I am alot stronger than i was while i was pregnant. Anyway…I need to leave him and find peace from this emotional rollercoaster. You show him what you need and want from him. if ur in Texas, tell me where, and if I can, I will come get you and take you somewhere SAFE, myself!!! How is THAT reasonable or respectful? I understand how you feel, I’ve been married for 25yrs and my marriage has been over for many years. Then again, I handle everything because he’s over there. She was the one to first introduce me to her friends and not the other way round. I’m so confused and hurt. Yes, Leah, there are men who can and will eagerly love a child who isn’t biologically theirs! We have a 17 month old and we live apart. how do i get out. Why? I’m really low maintenance. When that didn’t work, I tried to think of ways to mend our relationship rather than end it. It pains me more that he will be a priest and i know am doing wrong, but he promised to quit but am not seeing that…. , I only have 33 percent of my lungs left I am on oxygen #4 for the rest of my life since I got sick my husband was wonderful for about the first 3 months then after that decided to get a Facebook and do nothing all day but Skype woman in the Philippines he has another one now that they act like they are madley in love and they honestly think they are going to be together. My boys are ok with it, we’v discussed it in private and they are keeping it amongst us 3 and no one else. He only spends time at home when not working. We love each other cause of all the time we put in together and he is the father of my kids!! I also enjoy healing others and enjoy helping others. Wish me luck! I wish I was there I would come help you. I ask these questions everyday night… I need advice ladies. I thought he was the one. ;((, I’m going through the same thing right now. Are you thinking about getting out of this relationship? I found out that I married him because I believe his job was to keep me happy. When I ask him what he plans to achieve with his music he says he doesn’t want to be signed and he doesn’t want to go on tours, he just wants to write music and sell it from “home”. I’d been married 3 times prior and this one was actually my high school sweet heart who reconnected with me Nov. 2004. what do I do ladies…how did you deal? Who do you want to be loving – and who do you want loving you? It’s never easy to leave a man you’ve loved for years. All I see is him spending like crazy when he comes home every 4 months. I’m exhausted. Everything you’ve invested into her. Please can u tell me if i hav taken a ryt decision. I have spent my life sacrificing myself for others’ happiness and I am afraid that once again I will do so……. This happened about 3 years into our relationship but only came out on our 6 year anniversary because my bestfriend told people. We live in a shack on a farm, I have some health issues but he doesn’t care. He is still stuck where we were over a year ago now, jobless, transportation-less, and responsibility-less….and says he wants to change, but his actions speak otherwise. Hi I have been in my relationship for 11 years now. Think it out!!! I really don’t know why. He is soo lazy!!! i have a boyfriend and we have been together for 3yrs now..about a month ago i noticed a big change in him..hes goin out more and texting alot on his phone..one time i went thru his phone and found text messages between him and some girl..wen i askd bout it ofcourse he said he didnt knw wat i was talkn bout..but ever since then it hasnt stopd..so now i have this gut feeling ive never had before..and it wnt go away…i swear hes cheating!! If your marriage doesn’t suit you, don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have no choice but to change yourself or leave the relationship. If you don’t do it now, it will last forever, because now he knows that you will feel sorry for him and will stay no matter what. I guess he is not lying because every time we meet he is so loving and nice with me, but on the phone is cold and distant. This article would focus on a specific situation where your husband left you for another woman. May you learn to trust yourself, trust God, and have faith that you CAN leave this man you’ve loved for years. after splitting up in 1990. The rare times we do talk to each other we just end up fighting.. Telling us adults stupid things we already knew. Thanks for letting me vent. May you find the balance between careful consideration, and assertive action that will bring your life forward in new and exciting ways. good luck to you. I don’t know why because i know i deserve better and so do my children. Thank you my dearest ex husband to show me your true colours. How do you love yourself? I’ve know my husband for 20 years. He has been fixed so he can’t have anymore, nor does he want any more. We want for nothing. The only person you can change is yourself — your expectations of your boyfriend.