(Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. Don't chase him if he leaves -- this may cause him to run even faster, according to Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of "Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and Coupled Up," in the "Good Housekeeping" article "How to Reconnect With Your Spouse." If Only He Knew: A Valuable Guide to Knowing, Understanding, and Loving Your Wife . It's brimming with Lerner's warmth, sharp wit, remarkable clarity, and practical advice." Therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner summarizes the pattern like this. . Harriet Lerner is an internationally acclaimed feminist psychotherapist and best-selling author of The Dance of Anger, The Dance of Intimacy and The Dance of Deception; her books have sold over 3 million copies worldwide. Reading Harriet Lerner's "The Dance of Anger" was a pivotal experience for me years ago, and I've since noticed it in the homes of several women I respect deeply. Gary Smalley (Paperback - Apr 28, 2012) $8.24. Healthy relationships can handle the stress with mutual respect and appreciation. When I've pointed to it on their shelves, we've exchanged a knowing look and moved on to another topic, usually because there were men in the room, but also because nothing needed to be said. She writes, "Keep in mind that an affair is not a terrible aberration that only occurs in unhappy marriages. People spend their hard- earned money seeking the advice of relationship experts when they already know what they need to do to have a good marriage-- or at least … We all "do deception", often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. Reviewed in Canada on August 7, 2017. A partner with pursuing behavior tends to respond to relationship stress by moving toward the other. About the author (2012) INTRODUCTION. … Harriet Lerner does an excellent job of using humour and very do-able suggestions to make relationships work better in this practical, easy-to-read book. Dr. Lerner views apology as “central to health, both physical and emotional. Harper Collins, Oct 13, 2009 - Psychology - 272 pages. After Menninger closed shop in Topeka and moved to Houston, Harriet and her husband Steve (also a psychologist) moved to Lawrence, Kansas where they currently have a private practice. The Dance of Deception: A Guide to Authenticity and Truth-Telling in Women's Relationships. Report abuse. "Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions. Verified Purchase. Fathera Fay Message: My husband Steve and our two sons, Matt and Ben, are the best fathers I have had the good fortune to know intimately. It's packed with clearheaded counsel and small, doable steps that can turn a relationship around. Bestselling author Harriet Lerner focuses on the challenge and the importance of being able to express one's "authentic voice" in intimate relationships. They have two grown sons, Matt and Ben. Harriet Lerner: “I’m sorry” are the two most important words in the English language. Caryn Mirriam-Goldberg (CMG): I can remember the exact moment.I was 14, sitting on the stoop of a garden apartment in New Jersey. Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email. Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist whose many acclaimed books, including The Dance of Anger and the upcoming Why Won't You Apologize, have topped six million copies in combined sales.She is a dynamic, sought-after speaker who has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, CNN, and NPR, and she hosts The Dance of Connection blog on psychologytoday.com. The Dance of Anger ‘Stand like a mountain, bend like grass. Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. is the author of numerous scholarly articles on the psychology of women and family relationships, and twelve books, including The New York Times bestseller, The Dance of Anger. They are urgent in their efforts to fix what they think is wrong. Stacey Boorer . I saw myself on almost every page, which led to a lot of head- nodding, laughing . She currently has a private practice in Lawrence, Kansas. IT SHOULDN''T BE THAT COMPLICATED. I borrowd the audio so my husband and I could listen together, and I read more of the book on my own. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is the author of many books, including the New York Times bestseller, The Dance of Anger, and Why Won't You Apologize: Healing …